The Power of a British Accent

I’ve written about the frustration I’ve had in California and not being understood but there is another side to this.  Americans definitely like the British accent.  You can be the most uncouth slob on the planet but, if your accent is English and you’re in the States, suddenly you’re sophisticated, intelligent and cultured.

Recently a guy in a shop asked where my accent was from because ‘it makes my stomach flip over and well…’ He was unable to finish his sentence; such was the power of my voice.  Which just made me laugh, believe me, when I’m back home, no one is lost for words over my gorgeous accent.

I have to confess, I may have used this to my advantage now and then.  I’m an Essex girl but have more of a Home Counties accent, hard to describe to Americans but I don’t have a strong regional accent.  It’s more like Kate Winslet’s (and that’s were the similarity ends, unfortunately.)  However, I am willing and able to take it up a notch when required.  If I need to return an item to a store, or someone gives me any trouble over something, I bring out the big guns.  Think royalty, think The Queen.  Oh yes, I ramp it up and then some.  Suddenly that refund I wasn’t going to get?  It’s all mine.  That parking ticket being issued?  Cancelled immediately.  I’m not totally proud of my behaviour but there’s got to be some benefits, surely?  People look at me like a dear in headlights, unable to respond, blown away by my sophistication.

The boys have the same effect on people.  I’ve taught them to start their sentences with ‘Please may I have’ when asking for something.  Consequently, when we’re in a restaurant, the waiters/waitresses start smiling when the boys order and sound incredibly formal.  Their food arrives with extra portions or a pudding comes out as a treat because the ordering was so spectacular.

We were recently listening to a comedy channel on the radio when we heard a comedienne talking about how intimated she was of British children.  It was hysterical but the boys didn’t think it was funny, they just couldn’t understand the joke, which made it even funnier.  (The British bit starts at 1.10)

My very good friend, Greg, speaks to me in a style Joan River uses to imitate British accents.  It’s basically ‘fa fa fa fa fa’ and a really good, posh British accent can come out like that.  It’s important to swallow some of the word so ‘awfully’ comes out as ‘awfle.’

I haven’t used the word ‘one’ instead of ‘I’ yet.  That’s the ultimate showcase of sophistication and upperclassness.  One is saving that for any emergency one may have.